We often get confused when we talk about self-esteem and self-love. We usually think that these two are one and the same things i.e. self-esteem is the same as self-love but that is not true! Although they do upfront one another, they are actually different way of how you view and treat yourself. If you have one then it can help you build the other. Isn’t that great? But the question of the hour is how these two are different from one another.
In my point of view, good self-esteem is when you are proud of who you and what you do. And on the other hand, self-love is the bigger picture of self-esteem when you completely accept yourself the way you are i.e. self-acceptance, despite many flaws or shortcomings, that creates an inner motive to love yourself fully and brings you the attention on what makes you happy.
I want all of you to understand the difference between self-esteem and self-love fully so that tomorrow you don’t mislead yourself by mistaking self-esteem to self-love. I strongly believe that one can have good self-esteem even without loving oneself. Now some of you might be wondering how? Is it even possible? So the answer is yes. Though one can have good self-esteem without loving oneself, self-love often followed by self-esteem.
From what I have seen, People are confident in one area of their life and thought that was also self-love but in contradiction, they don’t treat themselves lovingly. In fact, having good self-esteem is more prevalent(common) than self-love. What I want to say, you can have good self-esteem in one area and not in the other. Not only that you must be confident with your work but not with social skills. Or you might feel wonderful in front of a class but not in real life. In fact, I have seen many people who are having good looks or skilful, people get attracted to them easily but the problem is they don’t think smart or skilful or in some cases, you are good communicators with among your group nut feel uncomfortable or become freeze when it comes to a group of strangers. When you start loving yourself and start accepting yourself with all the faults or shortcomings it starts improving your self-esteem.
Let me share with all of you a beautiful story:
A person named Saransh had good self-esteem. After years of working in a corporate world, he developed a business side by side that did well. He started to love himself but still insecure about many things in his life. As he begins to do well in business his confidence starts to boost. He started to feel good for how much he achieved, started to get people’s attention, that results in strong self-esteem about his work. Having confidence felt great and encourage him to achieve more. Apparently, it didn’t get followed in personal life, where he still struggled. One day someone called him up and asked questions about his successful endeavour in business. For the time being, she inquired about his business stuff he sounded bold and confident, but when she talked about his personal life he sounded like a vulnerable man. Sounded like an almost 6 years little insecure girl in the same way as he comes across to people in personal life.
As he went into defensive mode, she reminded him who he is; he is still the successful man who has great self-esteem about his business abilities. She advised him to carry his same business persona into his personal life as well by acknowledging that he is still the same person. Gradually, he started integrating the same persona into different aspects of life and experienced. Eventually, he felt great and kindled his self-love.
Sometimes people mistook good self-esteem to conceit, which is not loving. It’s good to think well about yourself but not to a point where you think you are better than someone else. Good self-esteem is all about feeling good about you in a positive way, not arrogant ways. An arrogant attitude usually happens when you don’t love yourself and you have insecurities that motivate you to flaunt what you’re good at. People who have true self-esteem treat people well, in turn, people also give respect to them. In fact, it has been observed people with good esteem often make a good leader because they have the most important social skill that they resonate and eventually help them to win people. I don’t think I need to mention that’s one thing. Yes, you are thinking rightly; self-esteem.
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